Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thoughts on Sub-Fertility

Well, that is what my Napro Practitioner has coined it. I suppose since I had a child 17 years ago today and now am having a difficult time conceiving...sub-fertile is what you would call it. A close priest friend of mine thought that my scenario was quite ironic. When I didn’t want to get pregnant God gave me a child...and now that I do want to get pregnant...it’s not happening. God works in mysterious ways. I was like..yeah.. pretty funny, huh?

So, I am now CD1..finally. I feel like it has taken a few days. Before I started messing with my cycle, I was 28 days by the clock. I am starting to miss my more regimented body. Give me a baby...or let me go back to my 28 day cycle!! Psychologically, I am starting to think it is menopause coming on. And that to me is the kiss of death! I get extremely anxious when I start hearing about menopause. First off...there is no “pausing”...it is flat out “stopping”. It is the end of fertility..

Here are my encounters with menopause:

1- My Mom laughing w/ her girlfriends about heat-flashes....and my Mom fan herself years ago. I found this all quite annoying...

2- About 2 years ago I was having a yard sale with my Mom and sister and I mentioned to my Mom that I was tired. And she says: “Maybe it is menopause..you know your Aunt Joan started at age 35.” I didn’t need to know that....

3- Menopause commercials on the radio....listing horrible side effects. I turn the dial immediately!

4- Just this past weekend a friend of my husband’s is about 42...and she was telling me how bad her period was this month and told me it was “the change” coming on... At that I put my fingers in my ears and said "I can't hear you..I can't hear you"...I wanted to run to the hills! 42??? That is too young!!! Doesn’t it start at 70???

5- And lastly, (another Mother story) I was telling my Mom about how heavy my period was after the miscarriage (like two cups of blood in one hour heavy in the middle of a funeral Mass). And she says: “Maybe it is menopause.” Wha???? Again..why are you saying that to your daughter who is trying to get pregnant???? I love my Mom, but sometimes she does not think!!!

This is a downer subject....

BTW: Shout out to my 17 yr old on her birthday!

Yesterday Today

1 comment:

  1. Awww! She's a beauty!

    Some people always have to tell you the worst case scenario. Plug your ears, sing "mary had a little lamb" and move on. . .

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