Short and Not Sweet..

CD 6 and turned 40 on Sunday....not happy about either! Sorry I have not posted in a while...having a rough time over here!

Time is Flying!

I can not believe I am already back to my 2ww. This is crazy. It feels like yesterday I was crying about a failed cycled. These months go by too fast and unfortunately the whole ttc thing doesn't help. Everyday is a cycle number and a different regiment of ttc vitamins or prescriptions. I am always anxious for the next day...and this is making my life fly by!!

So..on that note: Today is CD17 and P+3...at least I think...I am not that confident on my Peak Day. I re-read my Creighton handbook and they made it sound like it was as clear as day...that it would knock you in the face...I must be slowwww...

So, I went through the proper protocol this cycle and added the Fertile CM myself. I saw a HUGE difference in my CM. I have never had such great CM...well probably when I was 20...but I wasn't looking at that time in my life. Does anyone know (maybe the lovely TCIE) the mucus score calculator?? How do you add up the scores? I would be curious to know what my score is....when I got pregnant last May, I had an 8..which is not that great. Since then I have had a 3 and a 4...terrible!

I had the craziest dream two nights ago. I was given 6 babies. Not sure how I got them...but they were coming any day and I was freaking because I did not have 6 cribs. The dream took a weird turn and I was debating a Senator on abortion by the end of it...and then I woke...very weird!!!

If this cycle does not produce a screaming bambino I am going to start taking my temperature and use an ovulation predictor kit. I think that would help for me to determine when I ovulate. Another thing that I re-read in the Creighton book was that the egg is only good for 12 hours...which I realize there are other factos that keep it going longer...but that is not a long time...at all.

I found some cool Yoga videos on cable...I am excited to try them. I just did a 12 minute yoga stretch. It was pretty good....and I think I could get into this!

Okay...cooking london broil, garlic mashed potatoes, and spinach....must get back to my kitchen!
Have a great night!

(Watching Cake Boss tonight....if you have never indulged.....you should!!)

CD 11...Good CM

I am having great CM...fo me at least! The past three days have been 10K, 10CL, and 10KL!! Yeah!..I have never had such great mucus....since I have been charting that is... I am taking the amoxicillian 3xs a day, Fertile CM 3xs a day, Mucinex 2xs a day...and then my other vitamins and prenatal vitamins. I am totally FOCUSED!!

I need to be pregnant before November 29th....it is a mental thing. I'll be 40!! This way I can say it was a 39 year old egg!!!

Went to my mammogram last night. It took 7 minutes. I am most definetely on the smaller side..ha!...so I thought it was painless and quick!! Praise God! Ladies you have nothing to fear when the time comes...

Thanks to all those who gave me YOGA suggestions. I will look for all of those tapes...and I fogot that they have exercise shows on cable,....I will check that out too!!!!

I have a million things to do today and my laptop is not working. So, I am on my husbands computer. I love my Apple....and I am sad that something is wrong with it. So...I am off to the Apple store to see what they can do for me!


Happy Veterans Day!!!

Crisis Pregnancy HotLine!

I don't think I have mentioned that I have signed on to answer the phones for a Crisis Pregnancy Hotline on Mondays. The calls get forwarded to my cell phone. I totally forgot about it until Shanesha called and left me some crazy message about her 5 children needing healthcare or somehthing like that...! I have to remember to pick up my phone. I am one of those people that do not answer the phone unless I know who it is...

Anyhow, I got another call from an 18 year old who is being thrown out of her house because she refuses to have an abortion. Her parents are upset that the "father" is black and she is white...forget the part about him being in jail for drugs and already having another child that he does not take care of...they seem to only be worried about his color. So, anyway she is living in a motel and is 4 1/2 month pregnant. I managed to slip in about her thoughts on adoption...but she told me she could never do that...well, I congratulated her on begin courageous and choosing life for her unborn child...

I'll give her the chastity talk when I call her back once I have found her a place to stay!

I am on page 66 on Inconceivable. She is now jumping rope...something about shaking up the organs! So, I ran today. That should do the same thing.... She is also doing yoga. Anyone do yoga?? Or have a good video to recommend for yoga? I do not have the extra money to take a class....but I think stretching is a good thing...so...anyone?????

A Few Updates!

Had it not been for my St. Anne Novena..I would have been completely MIA. I am in a bit of a slump...like my Phillies I suppose. It it is either the turning back of the clocks..or the daunting 40th birthday day that is quickly approaching....in three weeks. Anyhow, here are a few updates.

1- My Sister, who has been doing Creighton had a miscarriage a week ago. I am starting to think there is something in the water in Philadelphia!

2- While on the phone with her see told me about a book that she read called: Inconceivable. She gave it to me when I saw her at a family party this weekend. I am on page 17 so I don't have much to report. But, it seems that this 42 year old woman has one child and then is told that her FSH level is too high to ever achieve again. So, she takes a non-conventional way of getting pregnant. Lots of herbs and different techniques. Here are some of things that my Sister is now taking becuase of reading the book:

-Bee Polin, (Royal Jelly)
-Rasberry Tea Leaves
-Blue-Green Algae
--Wheat grass

I will read the book and decide if I am giving it any credence!

2- I am on CD7....and noticed some 10K...very early for me...not sure what that means. But, since I saw it I am starting the amoxicilian, the mucinex...and I ordered Fertile CM and as soon as it comes, I will take that too!!

3- Made an appointment to have my mammogram....yeah I am pretty bummed about that one...I was hoping to be pregnant and avoid that....for a few years!!!!

4- I have my first meeting at Williams Sonoma tonight for my Holiday Employment!! I need to make some extra cas fast....should be fun!

Alright! Have a great night!!

Last Day: St. Anne Novena

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I knee at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

---

---

Most holy mother of the Virgin Mary,
glorious Saint Anne, I, a miserable sinner,
confiding in your kindness,
choose you today as my special advocate.
I offer and consecrate my person
and all my interests to your care and maternal solicitude.
I hope To serve you and honor you all my life
for the love of your most holy daughter
and to do all in my power to spread devotion to you.

O my very good mother and advocate,
deign to accept me as your servant,
and to adopt me as you child.
O glorious Saint Anne, I beg you,
by the passion of my most loving Jesus,
the Son of Mary, your most holy daughter,
to assist me in all the necessities
both of my body and my soul.
Venerable Mother,
I beg you to obtain for me the favor I seek in this novena...

(State your intention here.)

and the grace of leading a life perfectly conformable
in all things to the divine will.
I place my soul in your hands
and in those of your kind daughter.
I confide it to you,
above all at the moment
when it will be to separate itself from my body in order that,
appearing under your patronage before the Supreme Judge,
He may find it worthy of enjoying His Divine Presence
in your holy companionship in Heaven.

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Day 8: St. Anne Novena

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I kneel at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

Remember, O Saint Anne,
you whose name signifies grace and mercy,
that never was it known
that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help,
and sought your intercession was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly unto you, good, and kind mother;
I take refuge at your feet,
burdened with the weight of my sins.
O holy mother of the Immaculate Virgin Mary,
despise not my petition...

(State your intention here.)

but hear me and grant my prayer.

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

A Little Late: Day 7 St. Anne Novena

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I kneel at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

O Good Saint Anne,
so justly called the mother of the infirm,
the cure for those who suffer from disease,
look kindly upon the sick for whom I pray;
alleviate their sufferings;
cause them to sanctify their sufferings by patience
and complete submission to the divine will;
finally deign to obtain health for them
and with it the firm resolution to honor Jesus, Mary,
and yourself by the faithful performance of duties.
But, merciful Saint Anne,
I ask you above all for the salvation of my soul,
rather than bodily health,
for I am convinced that this fleeting life is given us
solely to assure us a better one.
Now, we cannot obtain that better life
without the help of God’s graces.
I earnestly beg them of you for the sick and for myself,
especially the petition for which I am making in this novena...

(State your intention here.)

through the merits of our Lord Jesus Christ,
through the intercession of His Immaculate Mother,
and through the efficacious and powerful mediation.
O glorious Saint Anne,

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Vote Pro-Life!

There are some big races out there today...NY District 23 and New Jersey!! Remember to always think of the babies first! Health care, taxes, and the economy mean NOTHING if we do not uphold the Constitution that says: no one has the right to deny anyone of LIFE, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.....

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa

Day 6: St. Anne Novena

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I kneel at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

Glorious Saint Anne,
mother of the Mother of God,
I beg you to obtain through your powerful intercession
the pardon of my sins and the assistance I need in my troubles...

(State your intention here.)

What can I not hope for
if you deign to take me under your protection?
The Most High has been pleased to grant the prayers of sinners,
whenever you have been charitable enough to be their advocate.

Kneeling at your feet,
I beg you to help me in all spiritual and temporal dangers;
to guide me in the true path of Christian perfection,
and finally to obtain for me
the grace of ending my life with the death of the just,
so that I may contemplate face to face your beloved Jesus
and daughter Mary in your loving companionship throughout eternity.

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Day 5- St. Anne Novena

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I knee at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

---

Great Saint Anne,
how far I am from resembling you.
I so easily give way to impatience and discouragement;
and so easily give up praying
when God does not at once answer my request.
Prayer is the key to all heavenly treasures and I cannot pray,
because my weak faith and lack of confidence
fail me at the slightest delay of divine mercy.
O my powerful protectress,
come to my aid,
listen to my petition...

(State your intention here.)

make my confidence and fervor,
supported by the promise of Jesus Christ,
redouble in proportion as the trial
to which God in His goodness subjects me is prolonged,
that I may obtain like you more than I can venture to ask for.
In the future I will remember
that I am made for heaven and not for earth;
for eternity and not for time;
that consequently I must ask, above all,
the salvation of my soul
which is assured to all who pray properly
and who persevere in Pray.

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Morning HPT Test (Updated)

Update: Took second test..came out negative and then two seconds later AF arrives....

I bet the Phillies lose tonight too!!

Day 4

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I knee at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

---

---

Glorious Saint Anne,
I kneel in confidence at your feet,
for you also have tasted the bitterness and sorrow of life.
My necessities, the cause of my tears, are...

(State your intention here.)

Good Saint Anne,
you who did suffer much during the twenty years
that preceded your glorious maternity,
I beseech you, by all your sufferings and humiliations,
to grant my prayer.
I pray to you,
through you love for your glorious spouse Saint Joachim,
through your love for your immaculate child,
through the joy you did feel at the moment of her happy birth,
not to refuse me.
Bless me, bless my family and all who are dear to me,
so that some day we may all be with you in the glory of heaven,
for all eternity.

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Invalid...nothing showed up on either side. How annoying! My husband wants me to take the second one...

But now I feel CD1 coming on....I am eating 5 pounds of raw tuna tonight!!

I'll be back to post Day 4 of St. Anne's Novena.

P+7 Results...

I finally got my P+7 results. I gave blood on Monday...and kept forgetting to call. I did call yesterday but they still did not have my results....which is unusual because they always seem to get them by the next day.

Anyhow, Dr. T called and told me my progesterone was...drum roll....

82.4

She used the word robust!! Ha!!...that must be good. Sounds like a good cup of coffee. Remember, I can't understand a word that Dr. T says...but she loves Our Lady and that's all that matters.

So, I asked her if this could be a pregnancy because I wanted to drink like a fish tomorrow night and eat raw fish too!! How often does your favorite team (Phillies) since you were 11 play in the WS and your favorite TV show cast sing the National Anthem on the same night???..and you were invited to go to sushi and then down to the local watering hole (The Flying Pig) for drinks and watch the game????

Okay..I didn't mention any of that...but she just said robust and PT test at P+15.....so that is in 4 days...I may just go get one today anyway......

I will Google 82.4 and see what I get...yes...just the numbers 82.4 and see what I get!
Maybe St. Anne will look upon her humble servant who is failing as a good person these past few days and be kind to me!

TGIF

P.S.....I don't want to get my hopes up because I am on Prometrium.....so that could account for the numbers.....but I just did Google 82.4 and that seems to be in the range of a second trimester pregnancy...which clearly I am not...so who knows what that means??????

Day 3 of St. Anne Novena

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I knee at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

Beloved of Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
mother of the Queen of Heaven,
take us and all who are dear to us under your special care.
Obtain for us the virtues you instilled in the heart of her
who was destined to become Mother of God,
and the graces with which you were endowed.
Sublime model of Christian womanhood,
pray that we may imitate your example in our homes and families,
listen to our petitions,

(State your intention here.)

Guardian of the infancy
and childhood of the most Blessed Virgin Mary,
obtain the graces necessary for all who enter the marriage state,
that imitating your virtues they may sanctify their homes
and lead the souls entrusted to their care to eternal glory. Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Day 2 of Novena and 4 Things I Need to Do!

1- Clean the bathroom!

2- Go for a 30 minute power walk.

3- Call Dr. T for Progesterone level.

4- And say the St. Anne Novena....

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I knee at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

DAY TWO

Glorious Saint Anne,
how can you be otherwise than overflowing
with tenderness toward sinners like myself,
since you are the grandmother of Him who shed His blood for them,
and the mother of her whom the saints call advocate of sinners?
To you, therefore, I address my prayers with confidence.
Vouchsafe to commend me to Jesus and Mary so that,
at your request, I may be granted remission of my sins,
perseverance, the love of God, charity for all mankind,
and the special grace of...

(State your intention here.)

which I stand in need at the present time.
O most powerful protectress,
let me not lose my soul,
but obtain for me that through the merits of Jesus Christ
and the intercession of Mary,
I may have happiness of seeing them,
of loving and praising them with your through all eternity. Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Day One Novena!

First, recite this prayer.

Glorious St. Anne,
filled with compassion for those who invoke you,
with love for those who suffer,
heavily laden with the weight of my troubles,
I knee at your feet and humbly beg you
to take my present need under your special protection...

(State your intention here.)

Vouchsafe to recommend it to your daughter,
the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and lay it before the throne of Jesus.
Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.
Above all, obtain for me the grace to one day meet God face to face,
and with you and Mary and all the angels
and saints praising Him through all eternity.

Amen

Next, recite the prayer that relates to the day that you are at.

DAY ONE

Great Saint Anne,
engrave indelibly on my heart
and in my mind the words that have reclaimed
and sanctified so many sinners:
"What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world
if he lose his own soul?"
May this be the principle fruit of these prayers
by which I will strive to honor you during this novena.
At your feet renew my resolution to invoke you daily,
not only for the success of my temporal affairs
and to be preserved from sickness and suffering,
but above all, that I may be preserved from all sin,
that I may succeed in working out my eternal salvation
and that I will receive the special grace of...

(State your intention here.)

O most powerful Saint Anne,
do not let me lose my soul,
but obtain for me the grace of winning my way to heaven,
there with you, you blessed spouse,
and your glorious daughter,
to sing the praise of the most holy
and adorable Trinity forever and ever.

Amen.

Recite the...

Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory Be to the Father...

Pray for us, Saint Anne!
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Not sure if I want to do the Novena for a baby....or for the Phillies!!! ha!!

St. Anne Novena

My Mom e-mailed me about starting a novena w/ her and my two others Sisters. So, I start tomorrow...I will post the prayers in case anyone is interested in praying along! Anne is the confirmation name that my Sisters and I chose..

St. Anne is the patron Saint of the following:

Whose Patron is St. Anne?

Adjuntas, Puerto Rico
against poverty
Boschi Sant'Anna, Italy
Brittany, France
Broommakers
Saint Anne the patron saint of cabinetmakers
Canada
Ann the patron saint of Carpenters
Castelletto d'Erro, Italy
childless people
Corinaldo, Italy
Detroit, Michigan, archdiocese of
Equestrians
France
Saint Anne the patron Saint of Grandmothers
Saint Ann patron saint of grandparents
Anne the patron saint of homemakers
horse men
horse women
St. Ann the patron saint of housewives
ace makers
lace workers
lost articles
Marsaskala, Malta
Micmaqs
Miners
Molo, Philippines
Anne patron saint of Mothers
Norwich, Connecticut, diocese of
Nueva Valencia, Philippines
old-clothes dealers
poverty
St Anne the patron of pregnancy
St. Ann patron saint of pregnant women
Quebec, Canada
Santa Ana Indian Pueblo Riders
San Joaquin, Philippines
Seamstresses
stablemen
sterility
Taos, New Mexico
Turners
women in labor

Guilty Pleasures!

I just ran for 30 minutes around town listening to my Glee Soundtrack and then came home and ate a piece of chocolate cake. What is wrong with me....I just ran for NOTHING!!

Speaking of guilty pleasures....God is not going to be to happy with me on my judgment day. I have a feeling he is concerned about my obsession with the TV series Glee. It is not very holy...and I should not be watching it. But, I really can not help myself. I have not been this excited about TV since Felicity in the late 90's. My TV exposure is limited to baseball and FOX news...

I was a theater major in college and have been singing since I was nine. I have sung in bands, community theater, the Spirit of Philadelphia...and auditioned for all the wacky singing shows...Star Search, The Al Albert's Show..(totally aging myself there....) ...too old for American Idol. but, I am still waiting for the day the age change comes!! I have my song all ready! So, I am living vicariously through "Rachael" on Glee...

The greatest thing has happened this week: The cast of Glee is performing the national Anthem at the World Series in Philadelphia!!! This is a "baseball loving theater geeks" dream!!! I am too excited!

Off to give blood for P+7....need good progesterone numbers!!

Enjoy this beautiful Fall day if you are in the Northeast!!

Miscarriage, Chemical Pregnancy..and Late Ovulation!

That all makes for a depressing lunch! The three woman at the lunch table had all this going on within a few days of each other. I went out for lunch with my best friends from high school yesterday..and it was all baby talk. My one friend had just had a miscarriage after having one in July and a still birth last November. Plus, they discovered that she had some genetic clotting disorder on top of it all. My other friend just got her period after getting a few positives on some HPTs...chemical pregnancy.

And me...well my cycle is WEIRD this month. I am not sure if it was the Master Cleanse, the mid-fertile start of Amoxicillin...or what! But I ovulated 6 days later than usual. And the CM was all over the place.

So..we all got ice cream for dessert! It was sooo good!!!

I am currently taking the oral progesterone from P+3 to P+12....Post Peak Day 17 (The day you check for pregnancy) will be CD 34. I have never had a cycle that long....maybe there is a full moon???

I have been turned down for international adoption. That was quick!! You need to be married for 3-5 years for the particular countries. But Kathryn at TAR....told me Ethiopia was 2 years...so I am going to check that out!!!

International Adoption

I am exploring...any insight? I applied online to Bethany Adoptions...but honestly, I have no idea how to begin.

I have always wanted to adopt internationally. I have been on a few missionary trips (Swaziland, Costa Rica, Bosnia...) and had to control myself into NOT stealing a child and bringing them home. So, why not explore.

I would be thrilled to get pregnant and have an adopted baby at the same time....fun!!

No Rash...No Closed Up Throat!

I feel like I have been living a lie all of these years. Telling doctor after doctor that I was allergic to penicillin. Constantly writing it on countless medical documents. When I went to pick up the prescription..the young high schooler behind the register whispered that the pharmacist would like to speak with me. Darn! I was so close to getting this magical "mucus enhancer" that I could only once dream about! "There is a warning on your account about an allergic reaction to penicillin." she said. "Yeah, it is a rash and I am totally okay with getting a rash...is there a waiver I can sign???"

Got my drugs..and went on my merry way! I was already half into my "fertile time"..so I just started taking it and stoppped today. I was told to stop on Peak Day...which is kinda hard to determine until after Peak Day ...so it is a little bit of a quessing game.

Anyhow, had 10CL this morning...so I have no idea what that means..did I ovulate?? Did the antibiotic do it? Who knows???

On another note....I always have these weird run ins with people....and then I over analize them and think they were trying to give me some message form God.

So, I am walking out of the Village Bakery buying my daughter some Bubble Tea to take to her work.. (pictured above..cold tea with cream and tapioca balls!) And this woman says out of the blue..."Everyone thinks my daughter is my granddaughter. That's what happens when you have a baby in your late thirties." Then she starting going on about her daughter teaching her "texting." But, I was stuck on the "late thirties" part.....

I worry about that....and I am constantly bringing it up to my husband. I don't want to be an old tired mom. If I get pregnant today...I am still 60 when the child is 20! I'll be 70 when the child is 30! This is a tough pill to swallow....

Maybe there is a reason I am not getting pregnant...and this lady reminded me of it!

The Worst CM Ever!!

CM is the key to conception. If you ain't got it...you ain't getting pregnant. Plus, I just found out at my Creighton Model appointment that the lower your CM score..the more likely you are to miscarry. Great!

I feel this cycle is a bust. I had 6K, 6K, OAD, 10SL...and that is it! My past CM scores have been a 3 and a 4.....a good mucus score is between 9-16. So, mine is HORRIBLE!!! You can not get pregnant on a 3. And if I miraculously do...I am not starting out well anyhow.

These scores were computed towards the end of my meeting. I turned into a miserable human being from then on....

I need to get my CM working. I want to try the amoxicillin. My Creighton lady faxed my doctor all of the information and I have been trying to call her all morning...but the line is busy. Don't these people have call waiting?

Unfortunately, my personality does not lend for me to go out on a limb and self prescribe myself...so I have to wait for action on my doctors part. I mentioned Fertile CM....and she said it was not part of Napro protocol.

Any other ideas??? Maybe I should go back to the doctor that told me to use egg whites!!

UPDATE: Just got my prescription for amoxicillin!!!!! Yeah!!! I did not mention my allergic stuff. So, if you don't hear from me soon...it is because either my throat has closed up or I have broken out in a deathly rash!!!

Off to CVS.....

Day 9: Struggling and Cheating!

Yesterday I could not down even 1 liter of that lemonade stuff (Noticed how I have lost my affection for my survival drink) But, I was determined not to cheat. So, instead I ate practically nothing. Woke up feeling lightheaded and nauseous. I decide to finished out the detox w/ just juicing vegetables and fruits. I am very glad I made that decision...I feel so much better and went for a brisk walk on the beautiful fall day.

Also, I noticed 8K CM....immediately I went from wanting to starve my body to wanting to feed my body. I was worried that if I got pregnant..the poor child would be sucking on lemons! It is just the protective nature of a mother....so I got myself an Odwalla Superfood Omega 3 w/ Flaxseed Beeries GoMega and indulged! And I got some spicy V8.....which I will have for lunch...yummy!!

I was at the grocery store and saw the biggest pomegranates ever!!! So I bought two. A quick way to add pizazz to your salad is to sprinkle these seeds on top!! I can't wait!

I am so glad that I did this detox. It really helps you to appreciate food ina different way. And when I ween food back into my diet, I am going to be very particular about what I put in it. I am going to try and do more fish...nuts....and raw vegetables!!! Yeah!!

Oh...and on the baseball front...the most amazing game last night! Phils beat the Rockies and we are on to play the Dodgers!! So excited!!!!

Day 8: Hungry....

Good Morning! Yes! I am hungry. I had a meeting this morning to straighten out a tax issue with our accountant and I came out and smelled bread! Panera Bread!! I could practically taste it. I had to quickly get in my car before I made a detour.

I know I have lost weight...and I like that...but I am really sick of this lemonade. I am on Day 6 of just the lemonade....and I am dying to chew something...even a little piece of gum! I find myself making plan about what I am going to eat next Sunday. The day I come off the detox.I feel like I am on Survivor...

My husband refuses to give up the coffee in the morning. I told him that was not part of the program and that it kinda defeats the purpose of the "detox." He would never last on Survivor.

Great news: Phillies won last night...and I am such a loser...I stayed up til 2:30am to watch the game. I will pay for it today. Maybe that is why I am feeling low energy and hungry.

I am thinking about taking Mucinex. The detox says not to take any medication...but I really don't want to miss out on this cycle...I hope it doesn't matter. I need some good CM!!! If not I am kidnapping my doctor until see gives me some amoxicillian! Ha!

Day 6: My Jealous Husband Is Joining!!!

I lost one, but I think I am gaining another!! My husband is feeling really guilty about eating and was making fun of my "cleanse"....and wouldn't you know it...he was secretly wishing to do it himself! Ha! So, tomorrow I am putting him on the cleanse...easing him in w/ fruits and vegetables! He is just going to finish in out with me....not add any extra days.

I am bored with the lemonade....I only drank 1 liter today so far....I just can't do another sip today. So, I made myself the tea w/ 1 tablespoon of maple syrup...since I didn't use it in the lemonade. I am getting creative...

I went for a brisk walk and felt great....I definitely feel lighter and healthier.

I spoke to my sister tonight. She was diagnosed with low progesterone as well....honestly there is an epidemic!! We need to go back to storing foods and drink in glass! And getting rid of those extra hormones in everything...ugh!!! What is a woman to do??? Anyhow, she has to take the shots of HCG...(maybe I can sneak a hit!!) So, my husband needs to have a conference call with her husband to explain to him how to do it. My husband was very good w/ the shots...I think he actually enjoyed it. He always wanted to be a doctor instead of a funeral director!! Ha!

SNOWING in Colorado!! The Phillies game is canceled for tonight. Play the stupid game during normal hours...and get a dome over your stadium!!

Day 5-My Daughter Bails!!

But, I am kinda happy about that! I didn't think she needs it..and shouldn't be doing it while trying to do well in school and work after school. So, last night she broke down and had New England clam chowder...it looked good!

I also decided to change a few things:

I didn't do the orange juice "ease in" day...so I only did two "ease in" days. I am getting rid of the orange juice ease out day. So, that lessens my detox to 2 weeks instead of 16 days. I think that is enough of a detox. 2weeks without food is hard enough!!! Plus, I am not doing the salt wash at all. I mixed the salt and water up....and it almost made me throw-up....and I just can't imagine having a quart of sea water in my belly! The teas work just fine...and really!....there is nothing left in me to come out...the teas will be milder and easier to digest. I believe the original detox said you could do either/or/both....

The chocolate tea was not as tasty as the original.....the "chocolate" in the title got me excited...but there is no Hersey in that tea!!!!

Phils lost....sniff...sniff...

Remember When I Said I Loved My New Juicer....

Well....I take it back. I am tired of juicing lemons!!! Already! Day 4 of the Master Cleanse...and all is good. But the juicing is never ending. Everything must be made fresh! I am perplexed as to why I am not hungry and have had no hunger pains. This lemonade stuff must really do the trick.

I had the "smooth move" tea last night...and I am telling you this stuff is better than any type of medicine!! It works...it taste like crap....but it works. I had to get more lemons at Whole Foods and I found some Chocolate "smooth move" tea....maybe that will taste better. I drank it at 8:00...while watching Glee....and by 7:00 that next morning my intestines were clear!!! Craziness!! I feel like I am 10 pounds lighter!

I am making my husband an amazing dinner...it looks so good!! However, a flip flop would probably taste good at this point! I am making a cashew crusted salmon w/ rice and a Ceaser salad!!
Yummy!!

Dr. T called me this morning (the call back took about a week...notice how patient I was)...and she told me that my progesterone levels at p+7 were great! And that I was officially allowed to TTC....I am wondering if the MC will effect this in any way....

Anyone know???

Off to watch the rest of the Phillies....they are losing 4-3 right now...ugh!!!!!

Day 3 of the Master Cleanse!

Am I becoming a broken record? I feel like I need to document this adventure...it will hold me accountable. I had a really hard time sleeping last night. I got up at 3:30...and was in and out of sleep till about 6:00. I usually get up at 6:00 to braid my daughter's hair and then I go back for 1 hour. My daughter gets up at 5:30 every morning and leaves the house by 6:50 for school!!

So, today was just orange juice w/ the maple syrup. I was so sick of orange juice that I decided to make a liter of the lemonade concoction. 7 tablespoons of lemon juice, 7 tablespoons of the pure unrefined maple syrup, and 1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. I like it! It is spicy, but much better than the orange juice! I can't imagine drinking only this stuff for 10 days....but if you are not suffering there is no gain!!

Tonight while watching "Glee"..I will drink a cup of the "smooth move" herbal tea....love the name!!

On the fertility front: CD5...nothing to say.....nothing!

Day 2 of the Master Cleanse!

Feeling good....not really hungry. Although I should be. I had a glass of organic o.j this morning, a raspberry, banana smoothie....with no smooth (milk)..and a glass of V8 for lunch. I might just skip a dinner...I am not a fan of the texture of things blended up so I am already ready to move on to the lemonade mixture. I don't like yogurt, tapioca pudding, cottage cheese..or anything of the sort. I have never been a fan.

I am going to try and get a walk in by the end of the day. It is so beautiful out!!

Day 1 of the Master Cleanse!

The "Ease In" started today. It is going okay...but would have gone better if I didn't go out last night for a few beers with my husband. So far I had a banana, apple, half of an avocado, and some slices of red pepper. For dinner I am going to have broccoli and some cantaloupe. I also went out and got a citrus juicer using my 20% off coupon at Bed Bath and Beyond...which is so much fun! I tried it out on an orange and the juice is perfect! My third day will be only orange juice...so that won't be that bad.

I have a headache...which could be from the beer, lack of coffee, or sugar...not sure which. I am excited to feel light and energized. I hope I can make it for the 16 days!!! I have to cook a London Broil tonight for dinner. The smell is going to torture me!!!

I wish I owned a scale because I won't be able to document weight loss. I can always tell by my clothes...so that will have to do

I am sorry that you will have to be reading about food...but I will try to shake it up.

I'll be back to post at the end of the day....

Period!

Yeah..that's right! Period! CD1...knew it was coming. I feel crappy and I am sad about this....I am running out of months. That is how I feel...I wanted to at least be pregnant before I turned 40.....I have two months left. I hate putting a time frame on this...I am already going to be an "Old Mom"....I should just just give in and get a dog......

But, I don't want a dog!!

CD1 Coming On!!!

5:00 am in the morning I felt back pain and mild cramping! And I knew.....CD1 is coming. I am so bummed. Another month....I am actually surprised. Even though I was told not to TTC...I did anyhow. Really did....like almost ever fertile day. So...what does that mean??

And Dr. T has not called me back yet...and I hate to be a pest so I guess I will just wait some more..

So, I told myself if I was not pregnant I was going to start the Master Cleanse...(thanks to dear Sew for introducing me to the detox that I have now become obsessed with...). I am starting on Monday. I have recruited my daughter to join me! Not sure if a 17 year old needs a detox...but she knew more about it than me. So, I have the lemons and the cayenne pepper. I need to get pure unrefined maple syrup and Celtic sea salt and the laxative tea. I have decided to alternate with the salt and tea. I have read a few "Master Cleanse Diaries"....and the salt part is still freaking me. So, I thoiught every other day might be better.

Here is what I am trying to get out of it:

1- More energy
2- Balanced hormones
3- Joint pain to go away
4- And a loss of 5 pounds would be nice!!

Here is the schedule I came up with:

Day 1: Raw Fruits and Veggies (Ease In)
Day 2: Fruit and Veggie Juice (Ease In)
Day 3: Orange Juice (Ease In)
Day 4: Lemonade and Laxative Tea (Cleanse)
Day 5: Lemonade and Sea Salt Drink (Cleanse)
Day 6: Lemonade and Laxative Tea (Cleanse)
Day 7: Lemonade and Sea Salt Drink (Cleanse)
Day 8: Lemonade and Laxative Tea(Cleanse)
Day 9: Lemonade and Sea Salt Drink (Cleanse)
Day 10: Lemonade and Laxative Tea(Cleanse)
Day 11: Lemonade and Sea Salt Drink (Cleanse)
Day 12: Lemonade and Laxative Tea(Cleanse)
Day 13: Lemonade and Sea Salt Drink (Cleanse)
Day 14: Orange Juice(Ease Out)-3 1liter OJ w/ 2 Tablespoons MS
Day 15: Fruit and Veggie Juice (Ease Out) or Broth
Day 16: Raw Fruits and Veggies (Ease Out)

I will let you know how it goes!!!

The 1950s..My Favorite Fashion Era

This is the type of dress that I would love to wear everyday! The June Cleaver eyelet vintage dress. Everything about it I just adore. The longer sleeves, the full skirt...the collar! And to think that woman had closets full of these day dresses. I wonder if they thought at the time that there could possible be a more comfortable way to dress....like my day to day outfit...sweats, a t-shirt, and Phillies baseball hat. What would these women think of my get-up???

Anyhow, this dress was on sale at Etsy. But, someone already snatched it up. It was posted on one of my favorite blogs: Design Sponge....and some lucky lady will be sporting this dress. The waist is 25 inches!!

Waiting for Dr. T to call me back and give me my P+7 numbers....the nurse would not give me these "highly confidential" numbers...I suppose! Now I am curious........but it is 5:00 and I am sure Dr. T has left the office.

Forgot Again...

Forgot again to call Dr. T for my P+7 results. Since she didn't call me..I am guessing they are okay.
At this moment I am wrapping a string around my finger so I don't forget tomorrow!

I ran out of my "cheap" prenatal vitamins...so I had to dig into my husband's medicine drawer (he keeps all of my (fertility) drugs! ..ha!) and take one of the expensive ones I was taking when I was pregnant. They taste so much better than the cheap ones. So, I think I am going to keep taking them until CD1..and then I'll go out and buy the cheap ones again.

Miscarriage Mug! And Tampons...Bad!

Happy Saturday! I have finished my cleaning chores...so I thought I'd write. First, above is a picture of my Miscarriage Mug...My dear friend was shopping at Anthropologie when I told her about my miscarriage..so she bought me a gift! Isn't that sweet! And it is all mine, because no one in the house has a name that begins with "J"...and you thought my name was Hannah...ha!

Anyhow, here is the scoop on the tampons...

1- If you use Napro, you really are told not to use tampons. You can not get a accurate reading of CM at the end of your period if a tampon is sucking it up.

2- After my miscarriage, the thought of sticking anything into my body seemed so repulsive...that I swore I was not using them anymore. My first period without them was crazy because for the first time in 25 years I actually noticed how much I bled. I was at a funeral and I had to stand in the back of the Church because I was afraid of leaking.

3- I really think they effect fertility...I found this article below that gives a better reason as to why tampons are not good for you.

Tampons contain two things that are potentially harmful: Rayon (for absorbency),and dioxin (a chemical used in bleaching the products). The tampon industry is convinced that we, as women, need bleached white products in order to view the product as pure and clean. The problem here is that the dioxin produced in this bleaching process can lead to very harmful problems for a woman. Dioxin is potentially carcinogenic (cancer-associated) and is toxic to the immune and reproductive systems. It has also been linked to endometriosis and lower sperm counts for men. For both sexes, it breaks down the immune system. The real danger comes from repeated contact (Karen Couppert "Pulling the Plug on the Tampon Industry"). I'd say using about 4-5 tampons a day, five days a month, for 38 menstruating years is "repeated contact", wouldn't you? Rayon contributes to the danger of tampons and dioxin because it is a highly absorbent substance. Therefore, when fibers from the tampons are left behind in the vagina (as usually occurs), it creates a breeding ground for the dioxin. It also stays in a lot longer than it would with just cotton tampons. This is also the reason why TSS (toxic shock syndrome) occurs.

So there you have it! Tampons....bad!

P+7 Results

Well...I don't have them. All day long I was trying to remember to call Dr. T and get my P+7 progesterone results from the blood I gave yesterday...and I forgot! Unfortunately, it is Friday and I will not be able to call until Monday. Bummero!!

Today, I am CD22...When you are trying to conceive your month is formulated into 3 segments:

1- Period (Ugh)
2- Fertile Time
3- Waiting....

So...I am waiting. the waiting period is also the time that I try not to drink. Just in case I am pregnant I don't want to be sorry later. It is not like I am a booze hound...I just like my glass of wine with dinner or while I am cooking pasta. It just dosen't seem right to be cooking Italian without my wine glass. My favorite was Monkey Bay this Summer..a white!

So I am about 8 days away to a Pregnancy Test or Always Mini Pads....Have I told you that I am not using tampons anymore???

My next post will tell you why I am now anti-tampon!!!!

It is Fall!

You know it's Fall when the Ivins' appear on the shelves at the grocery store. So, I bought some!! I love to dip them in milk...ummm ummm good!

I was cooking dinner tonight with olive oil and it always amazes me that this stuff is made from olives. I love olive oil...but, I can't stand olives (unless in a martini)...the smell...the taste...ugh! Anyway, I could super smell the olives tonight...and I thought, "Maybe I'm pregnant!!"....Ha! Funny how you look for any little sign that you might be pregnant. I am only P+5...so that idea is totally ridiculous. But, it is nice to imagine!

Now I Am Making Stuff Up!!!

So...I decided to wipe the 10K from my head...and my chart! It never happened! Ha! And I took the oral progesterone this morning. So I made today P+4 and I will give blood on Thursday. I will be taking the oral progesterone until P+12. So, I believe I am out of fertile phase and I will now have to wait and see if anything great has happened!! Even though I was told to wait...

So...my temp tattoo that was suppose to last for 3 weeks has already disappeared! Which is probably a good thing! It started a fight with my hubby on the way home from the party anyhow. I was going off on how I believe women should not have tattoos (sorry for anyone who does...). I don't think Mother Mary would get a tattoo and plus what out there is so sacred and wonderful that you would have it permanently plastered on your body. My hubby has a tattoo (which I am not fond of....)...so he was probably taking it personally....but I was talking about girls!!

My 40th Year!

The 40th Birthday Parties have begun. This is the year my friends and I all turn 40! Ugh! I don't even like saying it. So, last night started off with a Spaghetti Dinner thrown by the parents of a friend. It was great fun! They had a temp tattoo artist there for us and 80's Karaoke. I was laughing so hard..everyone was in rare form and I got a Chinese letter on my back that represent "life"...it should fade in 3 weeks!

My birthday is November 29th...if I am not pregnant before that date..I am going to freak!!! Which bring me to my weird Creighton chart. If anyone has insight..please do tell!

CD 11: 6K
CD 12: 6K
CD 13: 0AD
CD 14: 2 x1
CD 15: 10KL x1
CD 16: 2 x2
CD 17: 0 AD

And today I saw 10KL.....WTH!!! I am suppose to start taking my oral progesterone on P+3..which would be today if I did not see 10KL...so does that mean I have not ovualted yet or had my peak day?? And if I take the progesterone, what will it do to me if I have not ovulated yet??

Mmmmm..what to do...what to do???

If You Haven't Heard....

Metro Chic-Matte is all the rage this Fall season. I have it on my toes!! It is very matte...no gloss. Takes a bit to get use to..but it is quite edgy! I'm going for edge this Fall!!

UPDATE: Just noticed 10KL! Made a call to husband who has a very flexible job as a Funeral Director...

Back-to-School Nights

Had two Back to School Nights in a row. How I wish I could go back to school. I either need to teach again or go back to school for something!

Made it home in time to watch Glee. I know...I know..I should not be watching this show. The pilot was good clean fun...but now..it seems to get a bit raunchier week by week. I just can't tear myself away from a bunch of misfits who sing in the glee club. I was a "play geek"...a popular one...ha!!

On the baby making front: Is the 10kl ever going to come??? I was 6k and then 6k and now NOTHING!! I am downing these Mucinex like skittles! This is really annoying...there is no way to just bring it on. And I know it is the KEY to knowing when you are ovulating. Maybe I'm not.

Back to watching FOX News and these crazy ACORN videos.

CAKE!

Party's Over and I'm Back!

My daughter's birthday party is over and it was a success. The cake took 5 hours to make...and I told her I was never making it again! I will post a picture as soon as I download. I was happy with it...and so were my 14 nieces and nephews who got a kick out of the rainbow colors. I had to make the icing 3 times because it was not catching. Meringue is tough! You have to beat the egg whites and sugar just right...

I started taking the Mucinex, about 2 days ago...I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am having a really hard time swallowing these vitamins and such! I seriously look at them and want to puke...especially the B6. When I was pregnant I was given prenatal vitamins that smelled like flowers and they tasted good. But, they were very expensive...so I am saving them for when (if) I get pregnant again. So, now I am taking the cheapies....

I found that I can swallow them with coke.

I have 6K CM today....I could be starting my fertile time. Dr. T asked us to avoid until the next cycle....

Doctor's Appointment!

I love my doctor (Dr. T). She is adorable and so holy. I mean really holy. There is a picture of Mary in every room. Every time I call her she needs to whisper to me that she is in Church and needs to call me back. She sang Happy Birthday to Mary as soon as I came in for my appointment this morning at 8:00. She was praying for me that morning at daily Mass. I don't care if she knows NOT one thing about medicine....she loves Mary and that is all that matters.

So...good news...but I wanted HCG!!! It seems that my progesterone levels are now normal. So normal that I do not need to get the HCG shots anymore. I know this might sound crazy...but I am disappointed. You see, I got pregnant the month after I started the shots. So, in my head...HCG equals baby. My husband says it is all in my head....and he is probably right! (I told him I was going to use the left over HCG in the fridge....it is like I am going through withdrawl...he thinks I'm crazy.)

Instead I was given a prescription for oral progesterone to take from P+3 through P+7 to support a pregnancy if one occurs. Dr. T also told us to wait one month to ttc...bummer!


This is the cake (if you want the recipe) I am baking for my daughter's birthday party on Saturday. It looks so good...I can't stand it! I hope that I can make it look just like that one.

Thoughts on Sub-Fertility

Well, that is what my Napro Practitioner has coined it. I suppose since I had a child 17 years ago today and now am having a difficult time conceiving...sub-fertile is what you would call it. A close priest friend of mine thought that my scenario was quite ironic. When I didn’t want to get pregnant God gave me a child...and now that I do want to get pregnant...it’s not happening. God works in mysterious ways. I was like..yeah.. pretty funny, huh?

So, I am now CD1..finally. I feel like it has taken a few days. Before I started messing with my cycle, I was 28 days by the clock. I am starting to miss my more regimented body. Give me a baby...or let me go back to my 28 day cycle!! Psychologically, I am starting to think it is menopause coming on. And that to me is the kiss of death! I get extremely anxious when I start hearing about menopause. First off...there is no “pausing”...it is flat out “stopping”. It is the end of fertility..

Here are my encounters with menopause:

1- My Mom laughing w/ her girlfriends about heat-flashes....and my Mom fan herself years ago. I found this all quite annoying...

2- About 2 years ago I was having a yard sale with my Mom and sister and I mentioned to my Mom that I was tired. And she says: “Maybe it is menopause..you know your Aunt Joan started at age 35.” I didn’t need to know that....

3- Menopause commercials on the radio....listing horrible side effects. I turn the dial immediately!

4- Just this past weekend a friend of my husband’s is about 42...and she was telling me how bad her period was this month and told me it was “the change” coming on... At that I put my fingers in my ears and said "I can't hear you..I can't hear you"...I wanted to run to the hills! 42??? That is too young!!! Doesn’t it start at 70???

5- And lastly, (another Mother story) I was telling my Mom about how heavy my period was after the miscarriage (like two cups of blood in one hour heavy in the middle of a funeral Mass). And she says: “Maybe it is menopause.” Wha???? Again..why are you saying that to your daughter who is trying to get pregnant???? I love my Mom, but sometimes she does not think!!!

This is a downer subject....

BTW: Shout out to my 17 yr old on her birthday!

Yesterday Today

Babysitting Break

This week I am watching my Sister's 4 children plus my stepdaughter. So I have 5! They are all coloring right now...so I thought I would take a moment to write.

This week has been a bit hectic with school starting for my 17 year old. Her birthday is also this week...so needless to say the first week of September is ALWAYS crazy. I figure I need to get pregnant during the months of October and November to avoid this problem again. Speaking of which, I am expecting my period any minute...any second! I have not been feeling like myself, so I am surprised that it has not come yet.

This is lame...but I really hope I am not pregnant! I have had so much paint, caulk, and wood dust up my nose the past week...nothing could live in this body!! In June when I was pregnant, I started caulking our porch and then I read the horrible warnings on the container!! I immediately stopped and got out of doing any more work...

A quick rant while I am sitting here with the kids coloring and watching The Disney Channel! I can not stand Nickelodeon or The Disney Channel!! Honestly, this stuff is NOT appropriate for children. The kids on these shows all scream...they are disrespectful to adults, and the themes are always about dating. 8 year olds should not be worrying about dating....If and when I have any more children....I am getting rid of cable!

Tonight: Birthday dinner of clams, scallops and salad...daughter does not eat meat!!

Painting, Pregnant Women, and Pottery Barn!

I have slacked on the blog because I am knee deep in paint. The project looked small...but I have added rooms on as I got started. I really needed to change the weird blue/green color of my side entrance floor. I decide to paint it black along with the stairs leading down to the basement. They look fabulous now..however, I see little white foot prints. My foot of course...let's hope this is just because my house is a dust haven from all the sanding!

Quite similar to the famous saying from the little boy from The Sixth Sense..."I see dead people"...well "I see pregnant women." Everywhere!! I went out to Target and Home Depot today and they were out in full force!! Cute little pregnant women with children in tow. Actually I saw many large families at Target. Now, I say large..because you rarely see families with more than 2.5 children...but I was seeing 4 and 5!! All going shopping for school items. My Mom had 7...she never took us all out to the store. Only one or two was allowed to tag along.

I wanted to run up and rub the belly of every prego women for good luck...had to control myself!

I am P+9 today. Went to get my blood work done for the 4th time this week. I am on a first name bases with the hematologist. She is the best! 29 nine years of sticking people. She calls me baby..and sweety! Today she tried my left arm which has been used the past 3 times and it was flat out DRY! Funny that on the way to give blood I thought about asking her take from the other arm...well needless to say I got stuck twice! So, I am waiting for the results and hopefully I will be given the okay to start back on my HCG shots!

I am thinking about getting a very part-time job at Williams Sonoma. Mainly becuase I want the 40% discount at Pottery Barn. However, I would rather be around food things than furniture things while working. So...we shall she is I get hired!

Home Alone!

I am all alone tonight. Husband and kids are down the shore. I am painting the house. Taking a break...renting Bride Wars on Demand and eating a frozen pizza! And for dessert...ice cream. I am so bad!

I let you know how it goes!

Square One!

Yesterday was P+3 (Peak plus 3)...which means I am back to square one. I am starting my series of blood giving to determine my progesterone levels. I was secretly hoping my doctor would just put me back on the HCG shots...but Creighton is pretty systematic and they want to get my accurate levels. So, this means I have to give blood at P+3, P+5, P+7, P+9, and P+11...and then if mt levels are low I will start taking HCG to improve my estrodial and progesterone.

The bummer part is that these injections start at P+3. So, I won't be able to ttc until October's cycle. Napro does not use HCG as a "trigger shot" like some fertility doctors. HCG is used to help your own body produce the hormones for the following cycle.

The last time I did this series of blood work...besides the low progesterone...they discovered signs of a hypothyroid and high testosterone. I went to my General Practinoner and did my blood work and got an ultrsound. The results: She thinks the Quest Diagnostic Center gave my Napro Doctor the wrong blood....nice!

Off to iron some of hubby's shirts! He normally spends almost 2,000 dollars at the cleaners every year...so I volunteered to iron his shirts! I need to get into a better rotinue with this....he had to iron his own this morning!!!

Real Ways To Enhance Your Fertility

I am laughing at a post I just read from A Complicated Life. She blogs about another post titled 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility. I have copied the part I was laughing at:

Here are the real ways to enhance your fertility:

1. Do it in a public place, preferably under an apple tree.
2. Take a piece of broccoli and swallow whole.
3. Do a full handstand after intercourse, followed by a full back flip. Your husband's applause will increase his sperm count.
   
4. Eat a bowl of melted chocolate without a spoon following intercourse.
5. Have intercourse before Oprah but never during Dr. Phil.
   
6. Create a fertility dance to a Paula Abdul song (other artists won't be as effective).
7. Melt 4 marshmallows and let sit overnight. Rub on your husband/partner's nipples at 3:07pm the following day.
   
8. Wear purple on odd numbered days, blue on even.
   
9. Drink 4 tablespoons of wine from a baby bottle every Tuesday after sundown.
   
10. Glue a tampon to your doorbell.

It is true....you hear the craziest stuff from people when they try and give you their "best advice" about getting pregnant!! My General Practitioner, who I thought was an intelligent woman tried to get me to use egg whites as a lubricant!! Totally gross...and unhygienic... and totally GROSS! Now I am concerned to even talk to her about the common cold!

So, had my Napro meeting with my practitioner last night. I was directed to see her about a month after my miscarriage. It went fine...but honestly, having the "marital embrace" is a lot of work if you do it the "Creighton Way." All of the waiting an hour afterwards and getting up to get rid of the sperm, the checking for muscus every minute of the day, the 25 Kegels that you have to do after...this is all serious work!!! Menwhile hubby gets not ONE instruction!!!! I am so mean...but woman have all the work.

I am so mad at Eve for eating that damn apple!

The Big Apple Cares About Women!!!

Opening at the end of September 2009

Comprehensive. Restorative. 100% Pro-Woman. 100% Pro-Life.

At the Gianna Center for Women, we are delighted offer a new, exciting approach to women's healthcare.

We combine comprehensive primary care with specialized obstetrical and gynecologic care and serve women with a deep commitment to honoring their dignity and the sanctity of human life. With this as our promise, we are uniquely qualified to care for women of all ages and at all stages of life.

We are pleased to be the first medical practice in New York City to feature two new women's health services -- the CreightonModel FertilityCare System and NaProTechnology, both of which allow us to provide you with a natural, scientifically-based approach to monitoring your health and managing your fertility.

Our mission is simple - to acknowledge your dignity as a woman and to provide you, our patient, with exceptional medical care. Our goal is to be of genuine service to you - and we look forward to serving your healthcare needs.

Gianna Center for Women

Oh, how I wish Philadelphia had something like this! One stop shopping!

Total Desertion!

I am sooo selfish! I love this women's blog. And she has totally deserted me!! Her last post was titled "Ciao!".... Ciao?? You say goodbye...but I say "Don't Go!!"

Amy is a wonderful Catholic writer whose husband just recently passed away. He was very young...heart attack at the gym on a treadmill. Her writings during that time are so beautiful. I love this snippet:

"Let go. They are the Lord's. They walk with Him, they do not belong to you, they do not exist for your satisfaction or pleasure or entertainment or for any affirmation of anything you have done. They are the Lord's."

This is comforting in so many areas of my life...my miscarriage..my teenage daughter who is making me a saint...and just all people who do not stay..

I also adore her because I do believe you had a baby at 44!! She really is good! And now she is gone!

On the fertility front: 10K/C fertile mucus....I was told NO ttc...but I cheated! This is the first time I have seem any fertile mucus since I got pregnant on May 4th...miscarried on July 6. So it was nice to see that I still can produce it. This is also minus the HCG and Mucinex...but I am still taking the Vitamin B6...which make me gag!

I Love Fall! I Love JCrew and this Dress!

I am a big fan of JCrew.... long before the First Lady. I think this is a great dress. The sleeves are my favorite part...now I just need an excuse to buy it! My husband has made it clear that I must not touch the JCrew credit card anymore...so I need to think of a way to get this dress! Any ideas!

The Assumption of Mary: Happy Feast Day!

“In the bodily and spiritual glory which she possesses in heaven, the Mother of Jesus continues in this present world as the image and first flowering of the Church as she is to be perfected in the world to come. Likewise, Mary shines forth on earth, until the day of the Lord shall come (cf. 2 Peter 3:10), as a sign of certain hope and comfort for the pilgrim People of God” (Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, 68).

"We're Jewish, We Abort!"

Ugh! I went out last night with one of my best friends and I am feeling the pain today! Too many Blue Moons! Anyway, she was telling me a story about the last time she was pregnant, the receptionist at her dentist office asked her if she was getting the "Quad Marker Screening"..when my friend said no..the woman said, "That's right, you're Catholic, we're Jewish, we abort." Is that not just horrible!! My friend told me that I would not like the story...but, honestly..we are talking about little helpless babies!

I was always curious about why most Jewish people are okay with abortion. Especially since so many Jewish people were killed during the Holocaust ..you would think they would want to create more of their own. Ironically, Hitler was all about getting rid of the handicap and those "non-productive" individuals. It would seem to me that Jewish people would try extra hard not to repeat the destruction that Hitler created! Just a thought.....

The Red Sea!

Ha! It feels like it anyhow....the never ending Red Sea. My miscarriage was roughly one month ago...I never fully stopped bleeding and then the Red Sea came about 6 days ago. Yesterday I thought that was it and put the first green stamp on my chart in a while. Then today...back to red!! Seriously, I am tired of the smell of blood (sorry!) I think I am going to call my doctor tomorrow and asked her WHAT IS UP??? I need to give blood at P+3, P+5, P+7, and P+11..I just hopr I get there! For some reason...I am craving an HCG shot!

Off to get ice cream!

Welcome!

After reading countless blogs, I have decided to take the plunge myself. Here are my thoughts on my blogging:

1- The blogs on fertility/infertility/sub-fertility have been so helpful to me. I believe the information that is out there needs to be shared. Especially the information on the Creighton Model...it is so new and so intricate that we need to support one another in the journey.

2- I just resigned as executive director of a non-profit organization to be a full-time wife and mother to my 16 year old daughter and 8 year old step-daughter. Unfortunately, I have discovered that they don't really need me 24/7...so I am feeling misplaced. I figured some writing could occupy my time.

3- I have been married for 14 months. I was diagnosed through Creighton that I had low progesterone and was put on HCG shots. I got pregnant the first cycle, was put on progesterone shots, HCG shots and then miscarried during week 10. I was obsessed with finding out all the information I could on the web concerning low progesterone. This enabled me to stumble upon some wonderful blogs about fertility and Napro..some very honest and heartwarming blogs that have helped me through the miscarriage. So, I am here to add to the "support group."

4- Hopefully...I can be of some help!